Crop circles: the secret's out

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We historians often get so wrapped up in trying to discover the causes of things and the motivations of people that we lose sight of the simple fact that in time, most things come out of the woodwork. Such is the case with crop circles.

Now, I'm not exactly the kind of person who lies awake at night and wonders what causes crop circles. I have been curious from time to time but never seen one and sort of figured that if the explanation was anything consistent at all, it was probably nationally occurring results of freaky weather patterns or one-of-a-kind atmospheric conditions or something scientific like that. I know that many people that alien life forms are making these circles; I am not one of those people.

Now, it turns out, we have proof of what causes crop circles. That proof is wallabies.

Yep, those kangaroo-looking things found in Australia are the cause of the world's crop circle infestation. Turns out the lovable creatures get high on opium and start jumping around in circles, mowing down crops in their wake. It's too early to tell at this point exactly how much opium is needed in order to send these marsupials over the opiate edge and into crop-spinning condition, but scientists Down Under have definitely confirmed this behavior by, of all things, witnessing it.

What does this have to do with crop circles in the United Kingdom and the United States and other countries that just happen to be far away from Australia? Good question. One thing at a

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time. For now, all we know for certain is that Tasmania, which is home to much of the world's natural opium production, has this kind of thing happening more than occasionally. (They've seen it happen with deer and sheep as well.) What we've still to find out is what kind of mathematical degrees those animals have, since some of those crop circles are darn near perfect spheres and other shapes. Still, you have to start somewhere.

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